An alcoholic who is anything but anonymous

Mr. President,
The mystery illness that kept you from attending the G8 meeting on Africa has set the internet ablaze with rumors that you were shit-faced.

photo of you chugging something which looks like beer has been inspected, and in true CSI manner the photo of the beer bottle in front of you was declared to be Buckler beer, a non-alcoholic Premium Quality near beer which contains .5 per cent or less beer. Some bloggers were wondering if an alcoholic like yourself is allowed to have beer. Is even a sip of near beer considered falling off the wagon?

Hidden in all the folderol is the fact you are an alcoholic and one-time cocaine user.

A professed alcohol and drug abuser like yourself, used to be considered unelectable.

And once up on a time, someone who has had severe health problems was not trusted with public office, yet you had no problem selecting Cheney as your Vice-president, even though you knew he had a history of having several heart attacks.

My; how our standards for leadership have slipped.

The G8 forum gave you another opportunity to improve relationships with the world's richest nations.

The G8 crew thought they were going to be able to work with you on global warming but you preempted that by suggesting your own approach which severely weakens their position on carbon caps.

Although you probably thought you had everything under control,
Putin bushwhacked you on missile defense. He took center stage and suddenly no one was talking about global warming very much.

You didn't have the slightest idea that he would suddenly suggest an alternative site for your missile shields in the South Caucasus country of Azerbaijan.

What is one more intelligence failure among so many others.

Europe had some cards to play as well. Dick Marty, a Swiss lawyer for the Council of Europe their human rights agency, said he has proof, Poland and Romania were a part of your
extraordinary rendition program. That had to hurt.

I love the timing of the Italian justice system that began the
trial in absentia of 26 CIA agents and six Italians who kidnapped an al-queda suspect from Milan and tortured him before he was released. The trial started just before you arrived to visit the pope in Rome.

The news from home is not much better as your prized immigrations bill takes a major hit and is removed from the Senate floor. Libby is on the verge of going to jail, while Gonzalez is facing a no-confidence vote next week. To make this even more fun for you. General Peter Pace, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is leaving under some mysterious conditions.

Conservative hate jocks, that disparaged you and your immigration bill are now demanding that you pardon Scooter before he checks into the graybar hotel.

With all of this on your plate and lower than ever poll ratings, I would not be surprised if the White House cleaning staff began finding empty Tequila bottles in the hallways.

Date: June 9, 2007 5:03:28 AM CDT

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.

We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions.

Due to the large volume of e-mail received, the White House cannot respond to every message.

Thank you again for taking the time to write.