Foreign policy game score is “British sanity” 2 “Bush madness” 1

Mr. President,
The British finally got even with you. After years of ignoring the British, they have finally set their own course in Iraq.

The new Prime Minister of England, Gordon Brown is making his own statement on your war. He doesn’t seem to be of the same pedigree as Tony Blair.

Although the new Prime Minister accepted your invitation to visit you at Camp David recently, Gordon Brown apparently didn’t walk away with any particular shine to your debacle in Iraq.

Blair didn’t lose his position because he wasn’t pretty, he lost it because he supported you blindly and received nothing for England in return.

So Brown has taken the British involvement in the Iraq war into his own hands. and the British are “beating feet out of town” as they leave Basra. They have turned over Barsa to the local militants.

It was tough for you to say anything in return but to make it appear as if it were part of your plan all along and say that you are considering the reduction of troops yourself.

Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket, “We are going to reduce the troops too.” “We planned for the British to leave … we actually told them they should leave.” “It was our idea!”

The British have also requested that you withdraw your troops from Helmand Province in Afghanistan because your apparent indiscriminate aerial bombing has killed scores of innocent men women and children thus undoing all the good will the British had accomplished in the area.

Where do the British get off like that?

Iraq is safe, Fox TV said so, and so have the Republican Congressmen; even the ones whose plane had to recently take evasive action to duck some missiles that were fired at them as they left the Baghdad airport.

So that begs the question, why did you sneak into Iraq again? If it is as secure as you say it is, why don’t you pre-announce your visits? I was also kind of disappointed that you didn’t parachute into Anbar’s Military Air Base.

Hasbro or Mattel could have sold us a lead-painted “Parachuting Bush” figurine to match the “Bush Fighter pilot.”

Hell; In 1992 your daddy went skydiving in Yuma Arizona and then again over College Station, Texas to celebrate his 80th birthday. If you really wanted to show the nation what a hero you are and show up your daddy at the same time, you could have sky dived into Anbar.

Well at least you didn’t have a “Mission Accomplished” banner this time.

At Basra there were no victory banners flying in the sky as British tanks covered the British retreat to the outskirts of the city.

Indeed, the insurgent Shia militia from the Mahdi Army took over the base shortly after the British forces formally handed control to Iraqi police.

There is no doubt you will be tempted to back fill Basra with more mercenaries; I mean contractors.

The military may be stretched to the limit, but the taxpayers can ante up for more high-priced contractors to take over the fighting at Basra should it flair up.

It is estimated that you have as many contractors performing military activities as we have military personnel in the country, so what is a few hundred more here and there to handle Basra too?

Back in April of this year Congress heard that 127,000 people are working in Iraq under Defense Department contracts.

Although you have been embarrassed into even discussing a cut back; it is nice to see the British finally speak up for themselves.

Stiff upper lip junior, it’s time to take it and go on to Australia where the Sydney population are just overjoyed that your visit has caused the city to be walled off and three of the busiest train stations and the busiest ferry terminal in Australia will all be closed during your stay.

Face it buddy, you are a leper, and your Australian brother-in-arms, John Howard will suffer in the polls for visiting his country. With friends like you who needs Al Queda.

The Australian election will be held on January 19, 2008.

As of August 1, according to the Angus Reid Global Monitor the Australian Labor Party (ALP) is leading at 54 per cent while Howard’s Liberal Party is at 46 per cent. Your visit to Australia will pretty much sink your buddy Howard, just as you will sink any Republican you buddy up with for the 2008 elections.

Midas, according to Greek mythology, was given a unique ability by Dionysus; the power to turn everything he touched into gold. Your career as President of the United States has been marked with so many serial failures of leadership and intellect that I would not be surprised if one day soon, the word “Bush,” will be synonymous as someone whose touch turns everything he touches into shit.

Date: September 4, 2007 2:10:37 AM CDT

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.

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