14 December 2008
30 November 2008
Alberto Gonzalez Cheney Laura

Happy Holidays and GOODBYE!

Did you have a good holiday junior? Did you get that fishing rod from Santa? Our Christmas gift will be arriving January 20th.

Life is getting tougher for many of us not-rich people. Coupons are much mored seductive as they have become the most important part of the paper, next to the classified jobs section.

Despite what everyone is saying about the demise of newspapers, we are finding that they provide an important use in our daily lives and as an insulation layer under our coats when we go to the warming shelters.

Newspapers are also good tinder for starting a small fire under the bridges and overpasses.

How is life in that rarefied air where the most important item on your list is to make sure you don't miss your last vacation at the ranch?

I heard you are moving to Dallas and the neighbors are already edgy about having you move into their neighborhood. I guess there is no need for pretenses after you leave office so your Crawford ranch will just be a memory. It served its purpose as a prop for your bush clearing pickup driving photo ops.

After eight years of inept leadership,you have one final mission to accomplish, rewrite history as quickly as possible. If you are as good at this as you were with everything else, publishers might as well print those history books now.

Cheney has come out swinging. Not only has he admitted to sanctioning torture and wiretapping Americans, he is actually proud of it.

Poor Alberto Gonzalez is besides himself that no one wants to hire someone who may be convicted for his crimes. He is thinking about writing an autobiography to explain why he should not be hated so much.
Maybe you and the rest of your cabinet can get together and form some kind of self-help group after Obama takes office?

I feel especially sorry for Laura. she gets sent to the front of the line and she has so little to offer except for her Stepford-wife smile and a single talking point; "My husband was a great president."

I am not sure where to send my e-mails after today. Can you send me your new e-mail address so I can keep in touch? (Right!) I’ll keep writing to you at this address once in a while just to keep in touch.

In the meantime I started a new website about your good friend Rush Lumball. So you can go to www.rushlumball.com to see if I can channel one of your main worshipers.

Good Bye, from your favorite pen pal and may our paths never cross.


From: comments@whitehouse.gov
Date: January 1, 2009 11:04:55 PM CST
To: guzmatom@mac.com

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.

We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions.

Due to the large volume of e-mail received, the White House cannot respond to every message.

Thank you again for taking the time to write.