Sep 2006
Chris Wallace

Let's hold off on the momuments for a while OK junior.

Mr. President,
As I read the news it seems as though we have only two choices in Iraq; support the right-wing "stay and die" approach or follow the "cut and run" left-wing crowd. I am so confused! What should I do? What should you do?

Resign! That is what you should do, you sad little man; don't you know when to call it quits? Trying to salvage your presidency has to be like catching a greased pig. And that pig just got another couple of coats of grease this week, when both the UN and your spy agencies produced reports which both prove you have made the world, which includes the United States, much more dangerous.

Bad news for sure dude. Your underlings tried to divert the resulting fire to Clinton, but it was a poor effort and only enflamed the ex-president, who must have decided that after the right-wing production of "Path to 9/11" aired by Disney, he wasn't going to take it any more and let loose a fine tirade of scorching rhetoric at the hapless FOX reporter Chris Wallace.

You tried to set up a simple backfire with Wallace's attack on the ex-president to contain the larger blaze in Iraq, but it blew up in your face.

The huge blaze in the Mid East, goes on unabated, your few ill-equipped firefighters are dying at the rate of two per day. Many times that numbered are left with tragic life-altering injuries.

Your ill-conceived dismantling of the Iraqi police and army units allowed a century of simmering tribal tensions to ignite into white-hot hatred of sectarian vengeance, prompting murders, kidnapings, and executions by death squads and militiamen.

The heat of anti-western hatred has reached into Spain and Britain killing scores of innocent people whose only mistake was electing a government which supported your Iraqi coalition. It is not surprising to have both government leaders either out of power or severely crippled by associating with you.

How you live with all the deadly lies you have woven is a mystery beyond my comprehension. It must be a struggle to remember them all before all the unblinking eyes of cameras and microphones.

You must be so repelled by the constant presence of those elite stylebook mavens; but you need them to print your mantra for war over and over until the every dolt within your base can repeat each syllable by wrote.

Those snobbish reporters have yet to understand the brilliance of your performances.

Your public persona of an easygoing born-again Christian who comically mangles the few words God has given him, is so easy to underestimate, so easy to dismiss as a puppet, a pawn incapable of original thought or independent action. If things go terribly wrong as they have in Afghanistan, Iraq, North Korea, China, South America, who would fault such an obviously addled man as yourself. Surely, you must have been misinformed, mislead, by others, no doubt it must have been the liberal's fault.

But, the sheen has come off you junior. It began to ebb several months after the smoldering of the twin towers was finally quenched. It began to peel away the day you decided to brutally, pre-emptivly bomb a sovereign nation just because you could.

How dare those left-wing anti-war freedom-hating elitists dare question your motives, your actions, or your manner of speech, much less your powers to act unilaterally during one of the most dangerous times in our country's history? Don't they understand the dangers are unprecedented, and the enemy's changeable, and their fluid tactics defy the democracy as our founders established. Terrorists who want to attack our proud financial institutions, demand quick action, quick decisions unimpeded by bureaucratic institutions like Congress and the courts.

I hate to break it to you buddy but that veneer of your market-tested mannerisms and impeccably articulated Texan accent, hides a vicious and malignant personality as sadistic and uncaring as the devil that Chavez and many others call you behind your back.

You can pray that one day America will realize the greatness of your gifts to the nation. The hope is slipping away, that one day they will erect statues in your memory. It is evaporating as quickly as gas in an SUV.

Well ...only if the fire you started in those distant Iraqi sands doesn't overtake the entire planet first.

Date: September 28, 2006 4:36:52 AM CDT

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